it has happened.
i have dreamed of the future
and it came true.
and it is horrible.

about a week and a half ago, i had a horrifying dream which resulted in me waking up and frantically searching through my pillows looking for tiny red bugs. now the only red bugs that i can think of right now are red ants. but i know was not looking for red ants. i was looking for lice. [i think the reason they were red is because they were sent from the nazi's].
anyway
i was horrified and of course in the morning my head was so itchy. so i had my mom check my head. just in case. of course there was nothing there. [insert sigh of relief here]

then this last tuesday, a case of lice was reported at my work! my horrifying dream is coming true!! and since then 3 more cases have been reported. and apparently lice are very excellent jumpers, and they jump from head to head.

disgusting.

i can not get lice. one of the main reasons is found in the best Christmas pageant ever by barbara robinson.

"my friend alice wendleken was so nasty clean that she had detergent hands by the time she was four years old. just the same, alice picked up a case of head lice when she was at summer camp, and somehow imogene found out about that. she would sneak up on alice at recess and holler "Cooties!" and smack alice's head. she nearly knocked alice cross-eyed before one of the teachers saw her and took both of them in to the principal.
"now, whats this all about?" the principal wanted to know, but alice wouldnt say.
"i had to hit her." imogene told him. shes got cooties and i saw one crawling in her hair and i dont want them on me."
"you did not see one!" alice said. i dont have them anymore!"
"what do you mean, you dont have them anymore?" the principal said. "did you have them lately?" it really shook him up-- he didnt want a whole school full of kids with cooites. so he sent alice to the health room and the nurse went all through her head with a fine-tooth comb and a magnifying glass and finally said it was all right.
but it was too late--everybody called alice "cooties" the whole rest of the year.

i dont want to be known as "cooties" for any amount of time, let alone the whole rest of the year! yikes.

in the hiding place, corrie ten boom talks about how there were fleas and lice in their beds. and betsie was like 'corrie, we have to be thankful even for this, because its keeping the guards out and we can read the bible without interruption'

i dont have lice yet, and i hope i dont get it because it will be very hard to find a reason to be thankful for it.

i have never been good with to-do lists

i have things to do:

clean/organize room
clean fish bowl
clean kitchen
mop kitchen floor
fill out more job applications
try to calm down my mother because of our open house tomorrow, she is stressed
buy pops a birthday present
wrap said present
design a bulletin board
become energized for church tomorrow
become refreshed for work on monday
email anna
call heather
call alisa
send in rsvp for alisas wedding
find somebody to take to alisas wedding before i rsvp
decided if im going to sharing night for bible study
have a quiet time

i think i forgot stuff. but this will work for now.
perhaps i should get busy.
if only i could get motivated
maybe i will start with breakfast :)

i have culture shock.


culture shock defined:

Culture shock is the anxiety and feelings (of surprise, disorientation, uncertainty, confusion, etc.) felt when people have to operate within a different and unknown culture such as one may encounter in a foreign country. It grows out of the difficulties in assimilating the new culture, causing difficulty in knowing what is appropriate and what is not. This is often combined with a dislike for or even disgust (moral or aesthetical) with certain aspects of the new or different culture.

[thank you wikipedia]

next question would be "why does janna have culture shock? she hasn't been in a foreign country recently...so this doesnt make sense"

you are right. i have not been in a foreign country, but i have entered into a new culture.

this new culture of mine is called adulthood.

there are phases to culture shock. [who knew...wikipedia apparently] and we are going to talk about where i am and how im doing with this new development.

1. the honeymoon phase
"during this period, the differences between the old [childhood] and the new [adulthood] culture are seen in a romantic light, wonderful and new...this period is full of observations and new discoveries. but like any honeymoon, this phase ends"

i started my job with high hopes of teaching kids how to count, learn colors and rhyme and to sing the happiest songs...because in my head, thats what preschoolers should be doing. they should be playing and be read to. they should also be full of energy, ready to learn and discover new things. they should be given boundaries but within those boundaries should be room to learn and grow.
this thinking of mine has stopped.

2. the negotiation phase [which we know from heather's traumatic experience on sunday is also in the stages of grief, but with different wording]
"after some time (usually weeks), differences between the old and new culture become apparent and may create anxiety. that sense of excitement will eventually give way to new and unpleasant feelings of frustration and anger as you continue to have unfavorable encounters that strike you as strange, offensive and unacceptable.....this phase is often marked by mood swings caused by minor issues or without apparent reasons. this is where excitement turns to disappointment and more and more differences start to occur. depression is not uncommon."

where did my excitement go??? oh right. the anxiety [and depression?] about becoming an adult ate it. for breakfast. why is there sooo much traffic at 7:42 in the morning?? i hardly even know what a bill is and now i have to pay them? what?!? and why can't kids just get along? why must they bite and throw their food on the floor? and for goodness sake, WHY CAN'T PARENTS POTTY TRAIN THEIR CHILDREN?!?!?!?!?!?! i am so sad for the future of america. kids cant rhyme or count or sing their abc's or heck, some of my kids dont even talk yet. how is this possible???
usually i am so excited for friday. i mean my gosh, its friday! last friday i was so angry i took some equate nite time [!] and went to bed way early because i was so mad. at everything. talk about mood swings.
i was fine on saturday. clearly i am in this phase of culture shock. i just cant cope.

3. the adjustment phase
"again after some time (6 to 12 months) [6 to 12 months?!?!?!?! what?!?] one grows accustomed to the new culture and develops routines. one knows what to expect in most situations...and starts to develop problem-solving skills for dealing with that culture and begins to accept the new culture with a positive attitude. the culture begins to make sense and negative reactions and responses to the culture are reduced. reaching this stage requires a constructive response to culture shock with effective means of adaptation."

this seems impossible and unlikely.

and now i will quote audrey and helen from raising helen:

audrey: don't you remember what it was like to be young???
helen: of course i remember...it was last tuesday!!!

this is how i feel. i will never get to stage 3 because i cant adapt, adjust or cope with change.
[also i dont believe in evolution?]

[a special thanks to wikipedia for defining my mood swings]

solo tomorrow
i am one sicky person
death could be so close.