well it is 5:23am and i am wide awake. i am confused about this for 2 reasons
1. i was really tired last night
and
2. i was up past midnight
however

i can tell you that part of its is because i am nervous. [there is also a really loud bird out my window but that is beside the point]

the gut-wrenching, vomit-inducing, knee-shaking, hand-wobbling, wakeupat5am sort of nervous

what to know why? well first i will tell you things that it could be, but isnt
it is not because
1. i have an interview [boohiss]
2. i have some big test looming over my head. [i will at some point if i ever get a teaching job...but that is not today]
3. i am waiting for something in the mail
4. i have a date [boohiss?]
5. i am debating between 2 pairs of shoes
6. i know the ice cream man is coming and if i dont make a decision he will leave [men...sheesh]
7. i am watching some movie with enough action to produce that kind of nervousness
8. i have something due in 3 hours
9. i am 3 months pregnant and have to tell my parents why i gained 12 pounds [i havent]
10. i am secretly a world famous something about to reveal myself on oprah [im not]

i am nervous [the gut-wrenching, vomit-inducing, knee-shaking, hand-wobbling, wakeupat5am sort of nervous kind] because i have to sing a solo.
not just any solo.
a solo with a choir.

70 some odd people [i know its over 70 because my music is number 68 and there are people before and after me] [not to mention people in the audience...there are tons of them] waiting for me to come in at just the right time, with just the right pitch, with just the right tempo, with just the right amount of skill to sound amazing and bring 'em to tears [or something?]

to top it off its not just the normal sunday morning choir song. nono. it is for when we dedicate our new church building. oh the pressure.

talk about scary.

the only good thing is i reallyreally love the song.
so i couldn't say no because i don't want anyone else to sing it either.

deep breaths.
...